You've had a survival blog for
4 years and your husband/wife doesn't know.
Your family does not know
there's a case of Dinty Moore stew hidden in the basement
You stand around the office
water cooler laughing with your buddies about all those tin-foil hat
wearers – but you have your own roll of Reynolds Wrap at home.
You're an anonymous poster on
While you were supposed to be
grocery shopping, you were checking out escape routes out of the city.
You've got a Swiss Army knife
on your keychain that looks like a roach clip, instead of a roach clip
that looks like a Swiss Army knife.
You've read The Turner
Diaries with a flashlight under the bed covers, so now you think
you know what's coming.
You download Steve Quayle's
podcasts to your i-pod so you can listen to him on your way to work,
You anonymously put your
spouse on a mailing list for wilderness vacation pots.
You've got a browser bookmarks
folder named “Recipes” that includes links to Survival Blog,
Preparedness Society Forum, the Economic Collapse Blog, Survival Mom,
and Surviving Survivalism.
You've told your in-laws that
the camping equipment in the garage is because you love the great
You've convinced yourself that
you like the taste of freeze-dried storage foods.
You play the video game,
Half-Life II to practice what you will do when chaos breaks out.
Doomsday Preppers is
your favorite TV show, but you have to TiVO it so you can watch it when
your family is out of the house.
You've asked a survivalist
group to try to convince your spouse that prepping is a good idea.
Your family thinks you've
become a religious fanatic, but every Sunday morning you are really
taking trips into the wilderness.
You tell your wife the gas
mask you bought is to spark up your sex life – you'd rather have her
think you're a pervert than a prepper.
You run a large “off-grid”
website from your London apartment, but you tell your friends it's just
for the monthly Google Analytics check.
You tell your neighbors that
you bought a HumVee for its gas mileage.
You visit different survival
communities every weekend, telling your girlfriend/boyfriend that “It's
just a free camping weekend!”
You've built a house out of
rocks deep in the woods while your wife/husband thought you were taking
philosophy classes at the local college.
While you are in the bathroom
getting ready for work, you day dream about leaving society behind and
living the self-sufficient life.
You pray that company doesn't
want to stay overnight, because if you open the sofa bed they'll see
all your Survival magazines.
You're just waiting for the
day when you can say, “See? I told you!”